Mami Lucky: December 2007

Naruto Flash Game - Star Students

Star Student, click " Read More" to find out where to play the game

Another game by cartoon network. Hope we will be able to do a game like this in the future. I think this game is older than Chunin countdown but i personally love this game more. You really get to see the characters in action. Click here to play.

Nohohons

Adopt one of the Nohohons home. "Read more" to find out about them

All these Nohohons are created by very talented TetraGyom. Thanks TetraGyom for letting me post his Nohohons here. I love them a lot. There are more than 20 Nohohons there. You can select your favourite and put in your blogs. I am only showing 4 samples. You can find One piece, FMA, Naruto, Death Note, St Seiya, Spiderman etc. To download them, please go to http://www.mangomics.com.

I only provide codes for these four characters. You can adjust their sizes by changing the height and width.

merry SSX-Mas!!

Even in deep space as the mighty space battleship Arcadia ventures deep into the unknown reaches of the universe, the burning desire for freedom raging within Captain Harlock and his spaceship engineer pal Tochiro Oyama...

... even in deep space, Christmas is still a time of joy and wonder for children of all ages, as we find that the magic of the season can turn the bulkheads of a pirate ship into a scene of holiday festivities.

Tochiro, Tadashi, and the little girl Revi show just how casual interstellar travel has become by decorating a Christmas tree while plying the empty wastes between planets in this scene from 1982's Eternal Orbit SSX episode 10 - "Snowfall In The Sea Of Stars". Also, Tochiro imagines himself as Santa Claus, which is cute.

Even the evil space invaders the Illumidas are getting into the Christmas act, as we see them celebrate by participating in their most sacred rituals- drinking in bars accompanied by blonde escorts.

Happy Holidays to everyone, whether you're in outer space or safe at home, whether you're a green space alien or a one-eyed space pirate! See you in 2008!

EPISODE #3 Super Dimension Century Orguss

Naruto Flash Game - Chunin Showdown

Chunin Showdown
"Read more" to find out where to play the game

I don't usually post games unless they are very interesting. This game is a bit similar to Bejeweled game but slightly more interesting with the ninja element. This game is from cartoon network so it definitely look professional. Go to here

Episode 2:Brave leader DAIMOS

SHOW #1 A LOOK AT SPACE COBRA**(fixed)

Thanks to the prophet agp for letting me know this one wasnt working so I fixed it.
This is a ruff episode, my 1st episode I take a look at one of my favs _Space cobra.

(RIGHT CLICK THE "HERE" then click save target as)

download my rookie attempts HERE

Welcome to ANIME-82!!!!!

****Ok guys thanks for checking the place out , I am attempting to make a pod cast show about "old-school" anime and beyond....Come back once again every week for a new show.
Thank you.

-your humble anime slave
Captain Regan Strongblood

Updates - December 14th, 2007

The holidays are upon us! We'll be working our butts off through the weekend to take care of all you last minute shoppers, and we're all looking forward to having a long four day weekend to spend with our families after next week. It's been a challenging year for both the Anime industry and the economy as a whole, but this is the time of year we are reminded about what really matters. The best thing about what we do is that we not only get to spend everyday working with what we love, but that we get to serve each other. What else could be more important...

It's crunch time for us, and the deadlines for online shopping are coming down to the wire. Christmas is now 9 days away, but the last day before we close up shop and take off for the long holiday weekend is only 5 days from now, so the holiday deadlines are closer than you think. The deadline for Economy shipping has passed, and you can use our holiday shipping schedule to see how you'll need to have your parcels sent to ensure they arrive on time. Noemi says we'll get your orders out, even if we have to stand on our heads to do it, you just make sure to choose the shipping method that meets your needs. :-)

Don't forget, if you can't decide what to get your favorite Otaku this Christmas try one of our gift certificates .They are a quick and easy fan favorite, and have been our number one selling item over the past 2 weeks!

ICv2 reported that the manga publishers plan to build upon their success this year by increasing the number of manga volumes released from 1,400 in 2007 to around 1,800 in 2008. I think it's great that manga is growing in popularity, but I also worry that the big two (Viz and TokyoPop) are going to be publishing so many new volumes next year that us fans will become overwhelmed with choices. Still, more diversity is good and as long as they continue to keep older volumes in print as the newer ones come out we'll continue to make room in the warehouse for all the new releases while we back stock all the original volumes. I figure by the end of this year we'll have about 42,000 manga volumes (that's books not series) in stock in the warehouse, and probably around 54,000 by the end of next year. Man, that's a lot of books, and a lot of manga love! :-)

A couple people have written in recently to ask why we are not carrying most of the new Funimation single DVD price downs, and the answer is simple - Boxed Sets. We're an independent store serving fans, and I don't believe we need to carry every single title released every single way a publisher sees fit. In the case of the single DVD repricing from Fun on titles like Alchemist, Trinity Blood, Basilisk, and Gunslinger Girl they are just trying to move excess copies of the original single DVD's at a lower price, but all of these titles have already been re-released as lower priced collections and we don't see the point in carrying the titles both ways. For instance, even though the MSRP for the single DVD's of Burst Angel has been reduced from $29.98 to $19.98, the MSRP on the Burst Angel premium boxed set is only $89.98, so why would people want to take a step backwards and buy the six single DVD's for $120 when the premium box is already available for $90? (I'm not using our regular discount price in this example, but it works out the same) The new Viridian boxed sets offer even more value over the single releases, so it's pretty clear to me that - as a 'thinking' Anime store manager - there is no need to carry these titles in multiple formats. That way fans can be assured that the products we do offer already carry the best value without having to wade through pages of different releases, just to find out later that something else was actually the better value. [steps off soap box] Nuff said.

Viz announced their release of the Buso Renkin Anime this week (for April), and interestingly they are going to do it like they did Prince of Tennis - as two collectors boxes rather than single DVD's. I like this methodology for these types of shows, and I give props to Viz for being forward thinking and offering fans extra value on these series right from the start.

Thanks to Tom for sending this hilarious video link to me this week. My only hope is that all Japanese don't learn English this way, but at least we know they will be prepared for their vacation here on the dangerous streets of the U.S.! I know I always wear a hanky on my head when I go out to rob unsuspecting Japanese tourists....with a nail file!!!???

The 2008 import calendars that arrived from Japan last week are proving to be one of the hottest selling categories over the past few days, and we've already sold out of a couple of styles. It's no wonder, as these are some of the best calendars I have seen in several years, so be sure to checkout our selection before they are all gone.

Our partner sale with JapanAnime (Adults only please!) continues this week on all of their Adult Anime DVD's, so you can still save at least 40% off retail on just about our entire stock of JA items.

There are only a few days left to save on our select list of holiday gift ideas that we've slashed up to 70% off the retail price. Several items have already gone beyond the qnty we had allocated for the sale and have been removed from the list (the Black Lagoon set for instance), and most of what is left is getting down to low stock and won't be available at these prices much longer.

I thought new arrivals would be really lite this week, but we ended up working it out with ADV to bring in the titles set to street the first week of January, so I'm VERY happy to report that we now have the first Kanon DVD in stock, along with the long awaited re-release of Nadesico that has been off the market for a couple of years. We also have our restocks of the hard to find Evangelion Perfect Collection Tins, and I think this will probably be the last of them we are able to get. We have another excellent new manga update for you, and several new figures in stock from Kotobukiya which currently produces some of the best values on the market for collectors. Check below for the scoop on everything that's come in, or check our updates page for the complete story!

One more week to go. WooHoo!

anime journalism circa 1987

This article originally appeared in the July 26, 1987 issue of IMAGE, some sort of Bay Area based publication. I somehow obtained a photocopy of this article and subsequently reprinted it in the C/FO Atlanta Newsletter, which appeared in the winter of 1987. It’s an interesting look at American media beginning to discover Japanese animation, as well as a glimpse of what fandom was like at the time.

From IMAGE, July 26 1987

Japanimation: Creating A World Without Smurfs

The room is filled with punk teenagers sitting silently. All their attention is focused on the large TV screen, where elegantly drawn cartoon characters move with a fluid energy that rivals reality. After countless battles, Space Pirate Captain Harlock has returned to earth, only to watch the woman he loves die in his arms. Sniffling sounds are audible. Even the kid with the Mohawk has tears on his cheek.

“It affected people,” recalls Owen Hannifen. With his wife, Eclare, he runs the Japanese Animation Archives in San Francisco, where the screening was held. “I teared up at that scene the first time I saw it, too- and I hadn’t cried at any animation since Bambi’s mama bit the big one.”

The artistic quality and complex, no-holds-barred plots of what is called “Japanimation” has brought it rising popularity in America. A few recognizably Japanese cartoons such as Robotech, dubbed into English, are broadcast regularly in San Francisco, but many people watch Japanimation without knowing it; more than half of the cartoons with American characters and plots are drawn by Japanese animators. And San Franscisco is now the home of what Owen believes is the nation’s only archive of Japanese animation.

The Hannifens, whose love affair with comic books dates back twenty years, realized in 1985 that they were sitting on a gold mine; a private collection of 5,000 Japanese comics and animation books and 1,000 hours of taped animation. So they decided to open their library to the public. In addition to the tapes and comics, the archives contain more than 200 records and compact discs, both animation background music and songs composed especially to read Japanese comic books by.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

To visit JAA, located in their home, is to enter another world. Every available space, from the walls to the knickknack shelves to the TV screen, is brightened by Japanese cartoon characters. When Owen sits down to give a rambling discourse on Japanimation, a different story line seems to slip in every time he tries to make a point. He illustrates one tale by revealing a Captain Harlock tattoo on his arm. He will gladly show visitors whatever Japanimation tickles their fancy, from comedy to soft-core porn.

The Hannifens started videotaping in 1976 when a local TV station broadcast Yuusha Raideen, one of the seminal giant-robot shows. “We said, ‘My my, my, this is certainly different from Huckleberry Hound,’” Owen says. “Unlike American animation, which has silly animals doing silly things with dead comedians’ voices, Raideen used a multiplane camera and good music. We taped every episode religiously.”

While anyone can visit the archives, the Hannifens are trying to make it self-supporting by charging a $25 membership fee ($15 for students and senior citizens). There are about 150 JAA members, who get access to the archives, discounts on comic books and related merchandise and some free copying services.

Owen sums up the reason Americans prefer Japanese animation in a word: “Quality. In Japan animators are considered artists. They have their own fan clubs. Even the voice actors have fan clubs.”

Appointments to visit the Japanese Animation Archives can be made by contacting the Hannifens at PO Box 4151, San Francisco CA 94101; (phone number deleted)

Owen Hannifen passed away in 2000 after a long and colorful career in California fandom.

Sasuke Flash Clock

Sasuke Flash Clock

We spent a lot of time drawing Sasuke and his famous Sharingan. We think his Sharingan is very cool. Hope you will like this animated clock. Click "Read More" to get the codes for your blogs or websites.

Please comment.Feel free to use the flash clock, just remember to link back to Anime Widget.

Ichigo Flash Clock

Ichigo Flash Clock

Ichigo Flash Clock! Ichigo always look really angry every time he appears. We try to capture his personality trait through this animation. By the way, did you notice the animal on the board? We drew it the Rukia way. We hope Ichigo fans will like this flash clock. Click "Read More" to copy the codes.

Please comment. Feel free to use the flash clock, just remember to link back to Anime Widget.

Fuji Flash Clock

Fuji Flash Clock

Fuji Flash Clock! Our lovely, always smiling, unpredictable Fuji. We hope Fuji fans will like this flash clock. Click " Read More " to get the codes.

Please comment.Feel free to use the flash clock, just remember to link back to Anime Widget.

Kon Flash Clock

Kon Flash Clock

A Kon Flash Clock. Kon is one of our favourite characters in Bleach. We hope you will like the clock. If you wish to use the flash clock, click " Read More" to get the codes

Please comment. Feel free to use the flash clock, just remember to link back to Anime Widget.

Rukia Flash Clock

Rukia Flash Clock

We used a fan art again. Not sure who drew this but we love it a lot. (edited. The author is EstudioZoo

)Please comment. Feel free to use the flash clock, just remember to link back to Anime Widget.

Kakashi Flash Clock 2

Kakashi Flash Clock 2

Kakashi Flash Clock 2! Yes!!! We love Kakashi! We hope Kakashi fans will like this flash clock. Click " Read More" to get the codes for your blogs or websites.

Please comment.Feel free to use the flash clock, just remember to link back to Anime Widget.

Eiji Flash Clock

Eiji Flash Clock

Another POT flash clock. We hope Eiji fans will like this flash clock. Click " Read More" to get the codes.

Please comment. Feel free to use the clock, just remember to link back to Anime Widget.

Tezuka Flash Clock

Tezuka Flash Clock

Tezuka Captain as a waiter. Always so cool and composed. We hope Tezuka fans will like it. If you like this flash clock, click "Read More" to get the codes.

Please comment. Feel free to use the flash clock, just remember to link back to Anime Widget.

Sai Flash Clock

Sai Flash Clock

Fujiwara Sai. Our favourite character in Hikaru no go. I believe the picture we used was drawn by a fan. We hope Sai fans will like it. Click " Read More " to get the codes.

Please comment.Feel free to use the flash clock, just remember to link back to Anime Widget.

Naruto Flash Clock

Naruto Flash Clock

This is our first attempt to draw Naruto. Always like Naruto, he is always so positive despite his sad past. Love that he is always smiling and happy. Hope you will like this flash clock too. Click " Read More " to get the codes.

Please comment. Feel free to use the flash clock, just remember to link back to Anime Widget.

Ryoma Flash Clock

Ryoma Flash Clock

Mada Mada dane. The favourite boy from Prince of Tennis. This is a flash clock for all Ryoma fans. Click " Read More" to get the codes for your blogs or websites.

Please comment. Feel free to use the flash clock, just remember to link back to Anime Widget.

Gaara Flash Clock

Gaara Flash Clock

This design is similar to a japan flash clock we found from the internet. Although our Gaara looks really angry, we hope Gaara fans will like it. Click " Read More" to get the codes.

Please comment. Feel free to use the flash clock, just remember to link back to Anime Widget.

Ichigo Bankai

Ichigo Bankai Flash Clock

This is a simple flash clock. We just added the codes without making changes to the picture because we think that this picture is really cool. If you like the flash clock, click " Read More" to get the codes.

Please comment. Feel free to use the flash clock, just remember to link back to Anime Widget.

Kakashi Chibi Flash Clock

Kakashi flash clock

This is our first clock widget. This flash clock may not be perfect but we spent a lot of time making it. We started this blog because we wanted a flash clock for our own personal blog. Kakashi is our favourite character in the manga and we love his laid back attitude. So here we have Kakashi sensai and his favourite book. Click " Read More" to get the codes.

Please comment. Feel free to use the flash clock, just remember to link back to Anime Widget.

Atobe Flash Clock

Atobe Flash Clock

Atobe flash clock. Our funny, handsome and cocky captain. He must be the most popular character from other tennis team. Click " Read More " to get the codes for your blogs.

Please comment.Feel free to use the flash clock, just remember to link back to Anime Widget.

SD Gundam icons

Download SD Gundam icons for your desktop now

Download these classic SD Gumdam icons for your desktop now. Download it here

Doraemon icons

Download Doraemon icons for your desktops

If you love Doraemon, you would love these cute Doraemon icons. Download it here

Evangelion icons

Download Evangelion icons for your desktops

These very cool icons are not created by me. So download it from here.

Naruto icons

Download Naruto icons for your desktops

These icons are created by Talos Tsui. Download part 1 / Part 2

Anime on CED

During the Format Wars of the 70s and 80s the struggle was on between VHS and Beta. But other format battles raged in the background. One such format was Capacitance Electronic Disc, or CED. Known also under its brand name of RCA Selectavision, it was a unique system that used a metal disc. Image and sound were recorded on the disc electronically and read by the stylus, like a needle on an LP record on that turntable gathering dust in your attic. The discs were housed in plastic cases that slid in and out of the player. The resulting product delivered a picture superior to then-current videotape with crystal-clear fast forwards and rewinds. Unfortunately, this media was non-recordable, which meant you can’t tape your soaps or Johnny Carson. So the CED system coughed, sputtered, and died. Today you can find the discs in thrift stores and antique malls across North America, presenting a cross section of American film circa 1978-1983, sold by people who think they’re laserdiscs, bought by people who think they’re valuable collectors items.

At any rate, this is a blog about Japanese cartoons so we’ve got to work the things in here somewhere. So here goes! After years of research and excavation, ANIME ON CED is proud to present our in-depth exploration of the ENTIRE FIELD of Japanese Animation as released in the CED format. Following is a COMPLETE LIST of anime titles released on CED.

1. JACK AND THE BEANSTALK
2. THE WIZARD OF OZ

There, that was fun and enlightening, wasn’t it? Start your collection today!

Seriously, I’m pretty sure there are more titles out there, but these two are the only ones I personally own. So therefore, review.

THE WIZARD OF OZ, at least the 1982 Toho version we’re talking about here, is one of at least three different versions of Oz animated in Japan. This version features the voice and singing of Aileen Quinn, who had just finished her role as “Little Orphan Annie” in the musical and film of the same name. Also notable in the voice cast is Lorne Greene as The Wizard. Aileen belts out a few numbers and generally is the most bombastic thing about this lackluster production. The animation is jerky, the character designs are nothing to write home about, and Dorothy has a gigantic head. Seriously, I know anime characters have big heads, but her head is huge. Her giant blank eyes and unfortunate choices in lipstick shade make Dorothy a freakish doll-faced spectacle, even next to the cartoony Tin Man and a foppish, dreadlocked Scarecrow.

Having never read the Oz books, I can’t say for sure, but I have a feeling this film sticks a little closer to the original story than the MGM film. If you’re an Oz fan, this film should probably cement over a few holes in your collection, and if you’re a fan of Japanese animation oddities on weird dead formats then what are you waiting for? I once saw dozens of sealed VHS copies of this film in a Goodwill, so it can’t be too hard to find.

JACK AND THE BEANSTALK, on the other hand, is a much more entertaining movie. This 1974 co-production is like the animation styles of three continents stuck into a blender, whipped into a fine puree, and spread over groovy 1970s toast. Directed by Gisaburo “Night On The Galactic Railroad” Sugii, this winning fairy tale was created by Mushi Productions veterans who worked on things like Astro Boy and Cleopatra Queen Of Sex and would go on to things like Glass Mask and Death Note. We all know the story – Jack, magic beans, beanstalk, giant, grinding bones to make bread, singing harp, treasure,etc.- but this film throws in an entire supporting cast of dogs, mice, princesses, and evil queens that turn the movie from yet another animated children’s film into an enjoyable experience in its own right. (a full review is online at Anime Jump.)

The character designs betray the film’s global origins; Jack and his fellow ground-dwellers have a real European cartoon look, a Peyo-style roundness that makes you want to buy Kinder eggs or buy Eurorail passes, while the cloud castle princess has a definite anime character style and her subjects are day players from Princess Knight episodes. The evil witch, on the other hand, is Disney Evil Witch all the way.

Turns out Princess Margaret of Top Of Beanstalk Land has been hypnotized by the evil Hecuba, who is going to marry Margie off to her son, the giant Tulip. Yeah, that’s his name. Poor Jack, voiced by Billie Lou “Astro Boy” Watt, climbs up the beanstalk with his faithful canine companion Crosby (??) just in time to learn Hecuba has turned the citizens of cloud-land into Disney Cinderella mice. Befriending the princess (voiced by Corinne “Trixie” Orr), Jack makes it back home with the treasure, but his conscience and a stirring song by his previously silent dog convince him to climb back up and set things right. There’s a trippy sequence where Hecuba bends the laws of time and space, some exciting up and downstairs castle chasing action as Tulip rages after the pair, and after a few songs it’s back down the beanstalk, go get the axe. One of the film’s outstanding scenes is the wedding between Tulip & the princess – since the citizenry has been turned into mice, Hecuba fills the pews and pulpit with blank-faced paper dolls she animates through magic. It’s a creepy sequence with real dread.

The film’s music ranges from wigged-out psychedelic jam guitar to a portentious tune that suspiciously resembles Caiphas’s theme from “Jesus Christ Superstar”. Hecuba applies mind-control makeup to the Princess in a scene that now has serious lesbian overtones thanks to wah-wah porno background music. The movie never misses a chance to throw in a song and while some of them are clumsy (Jack and the giant sing a duet as they chase each other) they’re all fun.

It’s available on DVD from Hen's Tooth Video - scroll down (the guys that brought us Hawk The Slayer), but for the purposes of this column let’s just pretend it’s another example of Anime On CED. So far we have a fairy tale and Oz adaption #345; not exactly representative of the field of Japanese animation as a whole. If you know of any other Anime On CED releases, contact Let’s Anime!

Goodbye, Prince Tulip! Gooooodbyyyyyyyyeeeeeee!

Bleach logo creator

Create your own Bleach logo

This logo creator is created by Keiichi Anime Forever. Super cool! If you are making a fansite, do not forget to check out their website. Here is the link Keiichi Anime Forever

Naruto logo creator

Create your own Naruto logo or type using Naruto font

This font is created by The Risen Realm and Keiichi Anime Forever. Below is a print screen of how it looks. Very cool. Go to HERE and download the font or create your own logo.

Updates - November 30th, 2007

Well, the holiday shopping season is now in full swing, and we have started working late into the evening to keep up with order volume. This is our 10th holiday season supporting Anime fans, so we know what to do. :-)

We have been working through the typical new release delays and shipment SNAFU's that seem to always occur right around the Thanksgiving holiday. Many studios close that entire week, and problems tend to become 'acute' faster than during other times, but as of right now we're in great shape. We have most of the titles for the first half of December in stock now (though ADV's stuff came...ummm...all at once), and we're well stocked for the coming onslaught over the next two weeks.

Speaking of ADV, we did receive a limited number of the Evangelion and Nadia perfect collection tins, but not enough to fill pre-orders. They ended up getting allocated as there were not enough to go around, and ADV has promised us more around the middle of December, though they could not be more specific. We've kept both tins on pre-order and we'll be filling the rest of those orders once more stock arrives.

We had a little glitch on 'Cyber Monday' in that Yahoo's backend that supports the cart was overwhelmed with traffic and ended up going down for a few hours. We worked with their engineering dept pretty much all day to get the site back up and running, and since then they have added several new transaction servers to the store system to accommodate the extra traffic, and now everything seems to be running even better than before. I apologize if this caused you guys any problems, and I appreciate the patience everyone showed on Monday as we worked to get the checkout system back up.

If there wasn't enough new stuff for you to buy this week, Ron just shot me a message from the receiving area to let me know that three more new DVD's just hit the dock over there and are being unpacked now - Witchblade 3, Musashi 4, and Paprika (BlueRay).

We've noticed the usual increase in delivery days for mail parcels as holiday volume ramps up, so we changed the default shipping method from Economy (standard mail) to Priority Mail on the checkout pages, though all options are still available in the little pull down menu. It's getting closer to crunch time and we're encouraging customers to take the safe road on those gift orders and select a faster delivery option.... hint...hint... -_^ I see a lot of stores emphasizing 'free shipping' this year over 'total value', but guys don't be fooled by all the hype - the ketchup and mustard packets are built into the price of the hot dog, always have been, and always will be. Just a little 'food' for thought. :-)

Our Holiday Madness sale continues through midnight tonight, though I am sympathetic to all the folks that e-mailed in this week asking us to extend the sale into next week. I have not decided on that yet, and while I normally would be happy to honor those requests, next week is the absolute busiest week of the year for us and honestly I'm not sure that it's a good idea that we do much to encourage extra orders as we'll already have our hands full.

Oh to heck with it, you guys talked me into it - we'll extend the sale until Tuesday. I'm such a sucker for what you guys want! :-) Damn the torpedos - full speed ahead!

I wanted to mention that our 2008 domestic calendars are selling out quickly, but the first shipment of imports is due to arrive from Japan early next week. We'll post them to the calendar section as soon as they arrive.

We've teamed up with some of the major studios and created a select list of holiday gift ideas that we've slashed up to 70% off the retail price - in fact, we've priced some of these items way below our regular cost. The catch is that we only have a certain number of units of each featured item available at these prices, so grab them before they run out.

Our partner sale with Adult Source Media (Adults only please!) ends tonight at Midnight so this will be your last chance to save at least 40% off on all of their titles.

We have about a months worth of new arrivals for you this week, way too many to try to feature here. Check below for the scoop on everything that's come in, or check our updates page for the complete story!

That's it for this week. Have a great weekend - and ENJOY your Anime! :-)

the fake Nadia episode guide

(this fake episode guide originally appeared in LET’S ANIME #1, published in 1992. It is completely false in every way, and was written because anime fandom at the time simply could not shut up about that stupid show. Of course nowadays nobody remembers it at all. Ha ha.)

NADIA EPISODE GUIDE: SECRET OF BLUE WATER

Editor’s note: In order to conform to a little-known provision of the recent nuclear arms proliferation treaties with the Soviet Union, it has been decided that every Japanese anime fanzine MUST feature an episode guide to the recent NHK anime series ‘Nadia in the Mysterious Ocean’s Blue Waters of the Sea of Questionable Mystery Challenge of the $23,000 Pyramid”, that lovable series that captured the hearts of lonely Miyazaki wannabes everywhere. So, in order to do our part to bring about World Peace and Niceness, here we go.

EPISODE ONE: “A GIRL, A TOWER, A JEWEL, THE INDIGESTION OF LOVE’S MIGHTY FLAME!!”

In Paris, 1888, nothing happens.

One year later, during the 1889 Paris World’s Exposition, a young inventor named Jean-Claude van Paul-Jacques-Louis Robespierre Napoleon XVIII, along with his aging mentor “Pops” Racer, sail up the Seine in a rented barge, eager to attend the latest meeting of the Paris chapter of the “Man Was Never Meant To Fly” club and show off their newest anti-flying machine. Meanwhile, the Impressionist painter Claude Monet awakens with intestinal gas pains and decides not to attend the Exposition after all, which is good since he isn’t in this series anyway. Taking a break from the hilarious festivities of men who never meant to fly, Jean-Paul visits the Eiffel Tower and meets a mysterious young girl named Nadia Skywalker, sole possessor of a powerful mysterious gem of mystery and danger, the Hope Diamond. However, she trades the Hope in for another gem, the “Blue Water Of 1000 Flushes”. Nadia is also the last descendant of the royal family of the lost city of Laputa, and as such is being chased by the evil government agent Special Mooska (oops, wrong show)… is the last descendant of the lost city of ATLANTIS, and is being chased by special agent 0073 Grandes “Chesty” Morgan and her two henchmen Inky and Dinky. In a fierce confrontation atop the Eiffel Tower, Nadia runs away.

The very next day Nadia is captured by Grandes in her big transforming Japanese robot, but is rescued by Jean, who points out quite rightly in a line later edited from the final version that the things haven’t even been invented yet.

Meanwhile, Nikolai Tesla discovers that strange radio emissions from the planet Mars are interrupting his weekly recordings of the broadcasts of Casey Kasem’s “American Top 40”.

EPISODE TWO:
Rerun of episode one.

EPISODE THREE: “GODZILLA VERSUS THE RIDDLE OF THE SEA MONSTERS!!!!!”

Due to the rerun it was never shown, but in episode two it was revealed that Nadia, actually the Crown Prince of Austria-Hungary in disguise, was trying to keep the beginning of the First World War on schedule by sending compromising photographs of British Prime Minister Palmerston to the New York Daily Post. As WWI begins on schedule twenty five years later, it seems to have worked. Meanwhile the nuclear submarine Polaris destroys Grandes’ mechanical device, forcing her to rely on her backup mecha, a Gundam Mark II, to capture Nadia and return her to the Czechoslovakian Olympic Gymnastics Team in time to humiliate the Americans at the 1976 Olympics. However, Jean-Claude Debussy renders the Gundam suit useless by sending it repeated transmissions of public service announcements by the President’s Commission On Physical Fitness. Meanwhile, a young Mary Lou Retton watches in horror.

Captain Nemo, owner of a large seafood restaurant chain, gets disgusted with bad table manners and decides to retaliate with his very own atomic sub. He captures Nadia and Jean-John as they vacation at Club Med, and plans to use the Blue Water to increase tourist attendance at the “20,000 Leagues Under The Sea” ride at Disneyworld, but is told by an irate Michael Eisner to “go soak his head.” Meanwhile in Vienna, a young Adolph Hitler warns the Academy if they don’t let him study painting, he’ll start World War Two.

Later, Jean forgets to tie his shoe, trips over the lace, and dies, but is revived by Nadia and the Blue Water gem.

EPISODE FOUR:
This is a rerun of episode two, which was a rerun of episode one. New scenes of Nixon’s resignation speech are added to up the ratings.

EPISODE FIVE: “A REAL WORKOUT FOR THE NAUTILUS!”
In 1991 Tokyo, NHK screenwriters Haro Genki and Hawaya Nistamicha are fired for their atrocious pun. Meanwhile back in 1889 Europe, Russia and Japan begin the Russo-Japanese War twelve years ahead of schedule, completely pre-empting the Spanish-American War. This forces William Randolph Hearst to fill his newspapers with old reprints of excerpts from Issac Asimov’s autobiography. Disgusted with the print medium, the American public waits impatiently for the miracle of television. On board the Nautilus, Electra discovers she is pregnant, which is curious since she doesn’t have sex until episode 22. This is news to Captain Nemo, who has been busy attacking the South Pacific Lodge of the Benevolent And Protective Order Of Special Mooses, to gain control of their valuable supplies of cheap imitation gimmicks, not to mention gee-gaws, knick-knacks, and bric-a-brac. Meanwhile in Boston, Jean and Nadia open a small boutique, which does well until it’s destroyed by Grandes and her pals Chester and Joe in their new mecha, the SDF-1 Macross.

In the ensuing battle Jean trips over a speed bump and dies, but Nadia brings him back to life with the secret powers of the Blue Water gem and a good five cent fountain Coca-Cola.

EPISODES SIX TO TWENTY-ONE:
Reruns of episodes #1 and #2 edited together with clips from the 1991 TV movie “Knight Rider 2000” along with highlights of recent episodes of “America’s Funniest Home Videos”. Hosted by Lorne Green and special musical guests, the Judds.

EPISODE TWENTY TWO: “YAMATO! WHAP THAT MOTHER!”
Grandes discovers her investments in IBM stock and Hartford Mutual have led to holdings of over ten million francs, which in real money is about twelve dollars. Incensed, she attacks Jean and Nadia, now living in a ramshackle apartment in Duluth, with both the Grandizer and Great Mazinger robots, but is staggered with Jean counterattacks by revealing his true identity of Devilman and ripping her head off, in the process discovering that Grandes was really Count Decapita in drag, the real Grandes being on vacation.

Meanwhile on board the Nautilus Electra gives birth to twins, discovering that she was merely the surrogate mother to embryos which are the love children of Jackie Onassis and former New York Yankees shortstop and Money Store spokesman Phil Rizzuto. Electra gives them up for adoption and promises to pay more attention to her reproductive organs next time.

Captain Nemo, searching for his lost tube of moustache wax, discovers a laser-disc of the Doris Wishman film “Bad Girls Go To Hell”. This he uses in his attack against the North Atlantic chapter of the Liberace fan club, which retaliates by transmitting episodes of “Dark Shadows” with annoying audio drops happening about every ten seconds. Since television has yet to be invented, neither side is harmed.

Jean falls off a moving U-Haul truck, breaks his neck, and dies, but Nadia revives him with the Blue Water gem and several kilos of pure, uncut hashish.

EPISODES TWENTY-THREE TO THIRTY-SIX:
These episodes were replaced by reruns of episodes three, seven, nine, and sixteen, edited together and introduced by Sally Jesse Raphael, with a new soundtrack by the Bay City Rollers.

EPISODE THIRTY-SEVEN: “THERE SHE WAS JUST A WALKIN’ DOWN THE STREET, SINGIN’ DOO-WAH DIDDY DIDDY DUM DIDDY DOO.”
This is actually an episode of “Rat Patrol” with voices from “Secret Of Blue Water” dubbed over; the result of a night of heavy drinking over at Streamline Pictures. In Japan this was replaced by reruns of “Fairy Princess Minky Momo” with voices dubbed in from “Fist Of The North Star” and introduced by the cast of “Kamen Rider Super-One” and Carl Macek’s brother Skippy The Glow Attorney.

EPISODE THIRTY-EIGHT: “RESOLUTION OF THE SEVEN HUNDRED REAL ESTATE BROKERS BEFORE THE COMING BATTLE!!!”
Nadia, revealed as Princess Anastasia of the royal family of Imperial Russia, escapes the Bolshevik Revolution by not being there; her alterations shop in the rear of JC Penneys in Bossier City Louisiana is destroyed when Grandes and the entire cast of “Urusei Yatsura”, brainwashed into believing that Nadia is actually Madoka from “Orange Road”, attack with giant robots from “Dougram”, “L. Gaim”, “Xabungle”, and “Psycho Armor Govarion, in the process completely wrecking the Pecanland Mall. Nadia escapes in a Federal Express truck, while Jean rams a Lockheed C-5A cargo jet into Grandes’ Cross Your Heart bra, causing a massive atomic explosion. The secret society of “guys with pointy masks” attacks the Nautilus, destroying it completely, which depresses Captain Gloval (whoops, wrong show) Captain NEMO, until he realizes that he’s got another one safe at home in the garage.

After the nuclear blast, Jean trips on a pebble and dies; Nadia revives him with the Blue Water gem and several back issues of “The Stark Fist Of Removal.”

EPISODE THIRTY-NINE: “THREE MILLION BUCKS OF WHITEY’S ICE; AND BABY… THAT’S COLD!”

The entire remnant of the continent of Atlantis, along with the secret society of “guys with pointy masks” and the Omaha chapter of the Cartoon/Fantasy Organization, attacks Nadia, Jean, and the Nautilus with a robot double of Nadia’s long lost twin brother Shecky, who recites bad poetry and has questionable table manners. Jean takes a 75-millimeter howitzer blast to the sternum and dies, but is revived by Nadia and the Blue Water gem along with a free trial subscription to National Geographic Magazine. The Nautilus becomes a transforming robot that is subsequently taken over by Grandes, who, in her new Maidenform bra, dreams she conquers the world, until her companions Frank and Steve thwart her plans by declaring their undying love for each other and purchasing a condo together.

Jean uses his new flying machine to escape the battle but is shot down and killed by a particle beam fired from an orbiting “Star Wars” death-ray laser. However, Nadia revives him with the Blue Water gem and a coupon for fifty cents off any dessert item at Dairy Queen, while supplies last. Deros from the Hollow Earth, along with their Aluminum Nazi Hell Creature allies, attach the remnants of the Mu continent civilization, and America and Spain decide to go ahead and hold the Spanish-American War.

Captain Nemo shaves his head in preparation for auditioning for the job of Captain Picard’s stand-in on “Star Trek”, while Electra stands around and makes snide observations, all the while unaware that she has been secretly impregnated with the offspring of former Secretary Of The Treasury Bert Lance and “Hee-Haw” star Minnie Pearl.

In a shocking finale, the Earth is blown off its axis by “powerful magnetic weapons much more powerful than atomic bombs”, which raise the sea level and kill everyone on Earth instantly, including Jean. However, Nadia lives, and using the Blue Water gem and several acts not suitable for publication in a family magazine, she brings Jean back to life, and together they become the Adam and Eve of a new mankind. The end.

Wow! What a fantastically original and innovative show! Truly a pleasure to watch, especially the famous scene in episode #18 where the giant robot “Bob” Dobbs is hurled off the cliff by the force of the exploding bananas. How we laughed!

Rumor has it that the Gainax gang is hard at work on a sequel, tentatively titled “Nadia II – Secret Of The Blue Ooze”, featuring previously unreleased footage from the first series, edited together with film of the Kennedy assassination and the 1968 Elvis “comeback” TV special. We can hardly wait!!!

Mami Lucky

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